Sunday, January 29, 2006

mel mel ah mel mel.
you are dumb.
how can a girl ever be so daring to ask a guy out..
dumb dumb dumb!!
you knew what the outcome would be..yet you still tried.
you got yourself sad outta the blue.
you changed some things.
now that you have spoken and said everything you felt in you heart to him,
I guess you scared him off or something.
"we still got 2 years together", he said
can you really wait 2 years?
what if in these 2 years you see him walkin' close to other pretty girls?
wouldnt you have waited in vain?
but u promised him.
you promised to be there no matter what happens.
you just wanna be the supportive one behind whatever he does..
so no matter what, you gotta hide all that's inside.
no matter if its jealousy or sadness.
keep it all in.
as long as he's happy.
its worth it.

sometimes i find myself foolish for liking someone who doesnt care as much, who doesnt know how to say or show how much he likes his girl, who can attract girls to his side easily, who values his schoolwork and vball more than his girlfriend, who is a loner sometimes..
then on the other side. i know why.
he's cute (though he doesnt know it). he's a gentleman when it comes to helping others. he's strong and gives people the sense of security. he's sporty.

first day of chinese new year.mel! cheer up! though he didnt actually wish you happy cny back and replied just one word when you asked him a question, as least he replied right? ='( i got no one to entertain me via sms this year.sadded. last year, jiehui entertained me with lame and funny jokes and riddles, this year, its all lonely..
guess its gonna be the same for vday. mel ah mel. so much for your dream of having your first vday with someone you like and likes you, since last year you entered RP, its gonna be nothing but a dream!
nvrmind.I promised madd that if we have no dates by vday, we'd spend a day in c10, and i'll teach her how to play CS and we can just shoot each other. Rather than go out to orchard and see all the couples holding hands and smiling as though it doesnt matter even if the sky should fall..and then self-pity ourselves for not finding that special one who reciprocates yet.

My ears are bleeding again. Great. I so love my ears for doing so. But who cares. Darn. Why cant i just don on nice earrings for a couple of days without my ears ever bleeding and swelling. Everyone's ears get used to it after a year of piercing, but mine..1.5 years already. And still liddat. and each time my ear bleeds, i recall the time his ear bled, and i had to put the ear stick back for him, and it bled on my fingers. = but i know that feeling that i had when putting it back on for him. its still the same feeling i got now everytime he's under the weather. the same super concerned feeling, the same worried feeling.

Whatever mel. stop thinking!!! you have already done enough and taken enough initiative. You overrode your stereotyping that its always the guys who confesses to the girl and always the guy who asks the girl out. Thats enough. All you can do now is wait. patiently. and hope you dont grow old and tired by then...

Happy chinese new year everyone. hope you all collect many many ang paos this year. and may you all find your one true love. =)
lost the bracelets i bought ytd..sobs* ='( I wanted those soo much and now i lost it.great.