Tuesday, February 28, 2006

firstly. updates.
my grandpa passed away last sat. I'll always keep his preachings and words close to my heart.
he will always be part of the family.
i miss him so.
i miss his innocence (slight alzhiemers')
i miss his smile, i miss his brightening up of the whole extended family during occasions.
gong gong, may you be with God.

its time to say goodbye to many things that i have to learn to let go.
not just my grandpa.
but to kai too.

goodbye to the days I could feel so happy just by talking to him on msn, with him meowing and playing voice clips with me.
goodbye to the days he would scold me silly or ask me to stop crying and pat my head.
goodbye to the days he would come to my class and play CS or walk down to container together.
goodbye to the days I would see an adidas shirt and think "this would look really good on him".
goodbye to the days that I would be moody whenever I see him upset or alone.
goodbye to the days I just simply loved to look at him play vball.
goodbye to the days that I would sit by the computer and wish..msn me msn me.
goodbye to the days that I would look at my handphone..msg me msg me.
goodbye to the days that we could share songs and photos.
goodbye to the days that i dreamt we could actually still keep to the promise and watch the starts together.
goodbye to all of that.
the memories will linger on...
but it shall be kept in my heart,
till the day I can finally let it go.

tears of sadness.
tears of regrets.
tears of sorrow.
i need my sunshine.
i need to escape.
i need to let it all out.
i need to be myself once again.

no matter how long it takes for me to forget. i'll still always be his friend i guess. i'll always be.
i just need the time to think things through.
alone once again. alone in the dark.
if only life was simply carefree.
i was too stubborn.
i hanged on to things that will never come true.
i gave up and rejected the others who actually cared alot of me.
mel.u have been foolish.
mel.u have been stupid.
mel.u have been dumb.
mel..stop crying. be strong. *damn my tear glands, why are they so sensitive.*